Ah, it’s nice to have someone believe in you, isn’t
it? Problem was, I wasn’t too sure that I believed in me. Although, I will say, if she would've triple-dog dared me, I'm not sure I could've said no. Yet, as it was, I need to step out there on my time.
And, in just a few days, I’m going back out
there. Officially, next Thursday will be
the technical six week mark since both my first practice and my first set of legitimately documented broken bones. Quite a landmark, that.
But I’m tired of sitting on the sidelines, of
halfheartedly “skating” up and down the carpeted floor while my colleagues get
better and better and, for the most part, are now moving into the ranks of the
big boys. I can do no more wall sits,
calf raises, or one-foot flamingo holds for a while because, quite simply, it’s
been maddening. Even last night I found
myself rocking crossovers, sans skates, and looking and feeling like a bad
parody of a good Monty Python sketch.
Nothing awkward at all.
But come Monday, it’s back out onto the track. And sure, I’m a little anxious but that’s to be expected. I mean, the last time I stepped out onto the
hardwood I quickly found myself face-up, struggling for breath, and seeing down
a long tunnel at a bright light. This
time? There’s no telling what could
happen!
I’ve got to admit, however, that the past several
weeks have not been for naught. While I
mentally and emotionally struggled with keeping focus, the tediousness of time passing
all too slowly, the exercises and activities ProseHack put me through did have a great purpose. Not that I really grasped that
throughout. In fact, occasionally, on
the sidelines, I was probably a little more like an insolent teenager,
muttering, “I don’t know what this is doing for me. Stupid one foot stuff…Boring…I’ll show you ‘skater
stance’…”
And so on.
But you know what, as ProseHack and I spoke last
night, she asked me if, now that I’ve been through all of these off skate
exercises, not to mention the past few weeks of on-skate carpet rolling, I felt
like there’d been some improvement?
And I had to be honest and say yes. Despite the inner grumbling and complaining,
those simple little exercises and tasks have given me more confidence on my
skates.
Will it hold?
Well, we’ll see come Monday, won’t we? But if my hunch is correct and (oh Lord Jesus,
please let it be so!) I survive and don’t find myself spending Thanksgiving in
traction, ProseHack may be in line for a new name.
I’m thinking "Ms. Miyagi," sorta based on this.
I guess come Monday we'll find out if I can "wax on, wax off."
Say a little prayer for me and keep a bag of ice handy, won't you please?
I seriously laughed out loud at the last part. I am truly excited to witness your return to the track! You've worked hard, sucked up your pride, and have made the most of having to be on the sidelines. Someone better be there with a camera to document this! -ProseHack
ReplyDeleteYou'll be amazed at how far other's confidence in you can take you! Derby is so much a mental game. Once you start believing in yourself the hardest part is over. :) Can't wait to see you on Monday! You so got this.
ReplyDeleteCan't thank you both for all the encouragement! And yes, I'm ready! Well, I think I'm ready and that's half the battle; right? Either way, my wheels are hitting the hardwood on Monday, come hell or high water...
ReplyDelete